Miranda Scott described her path through addiction and recovery as anything but straightforward. “My journey is not pretty. My journey is not spotless or linear or this or that,” she said. “It’s been a journey of ups, downs, sideways, all around the world — and all of that helps me find myself.”

That winding journey began early, starting in Miranda’s teen years. “Opiates became a part of my life pretty young — 16, 18,” she said.

At the time, Miranda didn’t fully understand what was happening. Addiction had already taken hold. “I don’t even think I realized at that point what was going on because I was so far into it,” she said. “I don’t think I had breathed a sober breath for two years at that point.”

Feeling Trapped in Addiction

Miranda described a relentless cycle of craving as her substance use deepened: “The only thing I could think was, ‘I need more, I need more, I need more, I need more.’ And that’s what I did.”

Without knowledge about addiction or recovery, Miranda felt stuck and alone. “I knew nothing about addiction. I didn’t learn anything until my first rehab,” she said. “Before I got there, I was in such a dark place. … Self-harm is a big part of my story.”

If you or a loved one is having thoughts of self-harm or suicide, you’re not alone, and help is available. Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the U.S., or contact your local emergency number right away (such as 911 in the U.S. and Canada).

Experiencing a Painful but Pivotal Awakening

Miranda’s first experience in rehab marked a turning point, but it wasn’t easy. “The first awakening was so brutal, and it was just agony,” she said.

Looking back, Miranda remembered how little she understood at the time. “I didn’t know that I’d lost the power of choice. I didn’t know that there was a solution. I didn’t know that there was a different way to live,” she said. “I thought, ‘One day this is going to kill me, and I wish it would come sooner.’”

Despite that pain, rehab introduced something new — a sense of hope.

Finding Connection and a Chosen Family

During her 125-day stay in rehab, Miranda learned about recovery, found community, and connected with others who understood her experience. “I did find hope when I went to rehab for the first time, and I found the 12 steps,” Miranda said. “I found people that were just like me, finally, because I was the black sheep in my family for so long.”

That sense of belonging was powerful: “I realized going there that it was OK to be myself. I can find a chosen family that understands me, that gets it, that’s going to support me.”

Experiencing Unconditional Love

For Miranda, feeling heard and supported was especially meaningful. “My first rehab — that was the first time I experienced unconditional love,” she said.

After she’d felt shut down for so long, rehab gave her a place to open up. “It gave me space to let all of that out, because I’d been crying out for so long and I’d been shut down for so long that I didn’t think anybody was willing to listen to me,” Miranda said.

That experience left a lasting impact. “That place, it really did save my life,” she said.

Offering a Message to Her Past Self

Miranda reflected on what she needed most during those difficult years — reassurance and self-worth.

“If I could tell my past self one thing, I would say, ‘You are good enough, and you do deserve love,’ because that’s what I was searching for in drugs and alcohol,” she said. “I was just fighting so many demons. I didn’t know what to do.”

At its core, Miranda’s story is about searching for connection — and finally finding it in a healthier place. “That’s all I really wanted,” she said. “That’s all I really wanted, but I was looking in the wrong places.”

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On MyOpioidRecoveryTeam, people share their experiences with opioid use disorder, get advice, and find support from others who understand.

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